Sunday, December 28, 2008

Truman...

...may meet God today.
Last night Truman was placed on life support after a clot in his leg moved to his lungs. 2pm today may bring to the end months and months of pain, suffering, and misery for all involved. Or it may not. No one knows.
Truman was unwaivering in his decision to not be kept on life support, and I cant say that I blame him. After fighting a hear aneurism, a kidney infection, discovery of advanced cancer, gsastrointestional ailments, incontenance an IV wound infection, blood clot in his leg, chemo, falling, another infection...you name it and the poor man has experienced it in about a 5 mo period--I wouldnt want to hang around for that either.
My prayer for him and all the family is Peace. Rest. Faith. and Memory--memory of who Truman was. Memory of the things Truman loved. Memory of the love we have for him and...that God's love surpasses all.
Whether it be today, tomorrow or next month, I pray that Truman is renewed upon his passing, and meets his savior amidst the greastest angelic 'Welcome Home' party he could have ever imagined.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

My Christmas Angel

Today was an especially difficult day with the girls. Usually both were crying or whining at the same time. Reese thinks she needs a bandaid for everything. Raeleigh is teething. I am tired. And Jason is worn thin. Not an easy combination.
We HAD to go to walmart today to exchange a gift. We had bought Truman candy, but he isnt really eating well--so we returned to candy for flannel pjs. After finishing up in the store with these two kids, Jason went to check out and I went to the front of the store with the buggy bearing both Reese and Raeleigh. I stood behind the buggy unwhittingly looking even more ragged than I felt but managing to play with Raeleigh and make her laugh, while soothing Reese into beleiving that I had indeed just given her an imaginary band-aid.
An elderly man walked through the doors next to me and for a brief moment our eyes met and I felt something. I felt something I even now I cannt fully expain other than to say it was the Holy Spirit pulling the two of us together. He walked past me and paused right about where they keep the floral arrangements. He stood back to me for a moment shifting his weight.
I thought maybe he was waiting on someone or forgot what he came for....but I felt him. Even before he turned back around towards me I KNEW he was coming to speak to me.
He beganwalking towards me and I thought to myself...this is nuts! How did I know he was going to come to me. NOt only did I know he was going to come to speak to me but I also KNEW that he had to give me something. I didnt know what but I knew all at the same time.
He got over to me and said
"Ma'am, I just had to come talk to you. I saw this baby here (motioning to Raeleigh) and it got me to thinking that that is what this is all about."
He told me how he saw Raeleigh and it made him think of the little baby jesus and how precious that was.
Then he looked me square in the eyes and said..."You are a Christian arent you."
Yes, sir I said
"He said, I knew it...you can see it all over your face."
I told him that was the best compliment he could give me.
He said
"YOu have seen a few rough days havent you"
I Chuckled and said, "Just a few"
He said, Well I want to give you somehting to make your holiday a little brighter. He handed me a hand made pocket cross. I had seen these before and Jason actually already carries one. It is a cross you keep in your pocket to remind you about your faith and that God is always with you.
He commensed to telling me that no matter what I need to remember that I am not alone and that even in the worst of time I have a friend.
At this point I am just in love with this man and I say, "I am gonna hug your neck"
and I did!
I love hugs and I love to give them and I gave onew to this man in the middle of walmart not even knowing his name.
He moved me.
We both felt the spirit and He LISTENED!
Hearing is the easy part I guess, acting is what makes you feel crazy.
BUt we both had a gift for each other...
He reminded me that there ARE good people out there, that there ARE people that listen and act when the spirit speaks and he gave me the best compliment of my life...he affired in me that the life choices I am making and the closeness i share with God is somehow visible in me...that makes me feel more beautiful than any cosmetics or clothing or jewelry.
And I have him love. He needed it. I hugged his neck and I could feel him melt. He teared up when Jason came over and he told Jason that I had made his day.

I think may have made my Christmas!
May an Angel find you.


PS. I did ask him his name before we parted ways it was either DH or JH Kendrick. May God bless his soul.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Why I love President Bush

Forget economy, forget finger pointing, forget the world...I love President Bush because as a national leader he does not fear being openly spiritual and an admitted Christian whose decisions and stances back up that proclaimation.

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- President Bush reflected on his own struggle with alcohol in a White House meeting Thursday that touted gains in the war on drug abuse.


President Bush speaks about his administration's efforts in fighting drug abuse at the White House on Thursday.

CNN was the only media outlet invited to attend the entire meeting, which other reporters joined in the final minutes for remarks from the president.

Several in the room, including Don Coyhis of Colorado Springs, Colorado, who runs a program targeting Native Americans battling substance abuse, were recovered addicts or alcoholics.

Bush, who quit drinking at the age of 40, was impressed.

"Congratulations on 30 years of sobriety," the president told Coyhis. "I'm eight years behind you."

The president told the group of 14 -- all leaders in drug prevention, treatment and interdiction programs across the country -- that a new study shows teen drug abuse has dropped 25 percent since he took office in 2001.

"No question there's still work to do in America, but we are making progress," Bush said.

But the study by the University of Michigan cautioned that progress could be threatened by a drop in the percentage of young people who think marijuana is harmful. And it found that a high percentage of teens are abusing prescription drugs, with nearly 10 percent of high school seniors reporting using Vicodin over the past year and nearly 5 percent abusing OxyContin.

Bush listened to participants' stories and shared some candid moments.

Professional baseball player Josh Hamilton, who once suffered from a debilitating drug addiction, talked about seeking help from eight treatment centers. "They didn't work for me," he said.

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It wasn't until his grandmother confronted him while he was high on drugs that something clicked.

"That moment cleared my mind, opened my heart, and that following night I committed my life to Christ," Hamilton said.

The president praised the effectiveness of the programs represented, most private and faith-based.

"I'm a faith-based guy," Bush explained. "Sometimes, to help change a person's behavior, you have to change their heart. Government's not really good at that."

Former New Orleans District Attorney Harry Connick Sr. talked about why he was motivated to launch a student drug testing program that has now spread to 20 city high schools.

Over his nearly 30-year-career, Connick said, "I sent a lot of people to the penitentiary. But at one point I thought, this is not enough."

The father of singer Harry Connick Jr. maintained that the best way to reduce demand for drugs is to test high school students.

Dr. Katie McQueen advocated more careful screening of patients for substance abuse by hospitals and doctors.

"Of the millions of people who need help, most don't get it because they don't think they need it," McQueen explained.

When McQueen announced that her Houston program was based in "the great state of Texas," Bush interrupted with a broad smile, "I'll be home in about -- but who's counting -- 39 days."

Dr. Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, discussed research showing that 50 percent of a person's vulnerability to drug addiction is genetic.

Bush asked whether the same was true of alcohol abuse.

"There's clearly a genetic component," Volkow responded. "That's why prevention is so important."

Lt. Mike Boudreaux of the Tulare County Sheriff's Department described his battle to eradicate marijuana fields on California public lands.

"It's a daunting task," Boudreaux said of the efforts, which often involve confronting Mexican drug dealers intent on protecting their hidden fields.

Boudreaux added that his mother often prays for the president.

"One of the most striking aspects of being president is the power of prayer in my life. I feel it," Bush said. "Some days are happy. Some days are not so happy. But every day is joyous."

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Christmas Season Rules

As the Christmas season begins, I want to pass along these celebratory
tips. Enjoy the spirit of the festivities!

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a buffet table knows
nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave
immediately. Go next door, where they're serving chocolate peanut butter
balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare .... You
cannot find it any other time of year. So drink up! Who cares that it
has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn
into an "eggnog-a-holic" or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one
for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of
your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As to the mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk
or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a
sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
your appetite. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat
other people's food for free. And lots of it. Hell-o-ooo?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's.
You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the
time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table
while carrying a 7-pound plate of food and a tumbler of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted Christmas cookies or pralines in the shape and size of Santa,
position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can
before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of
shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or,
if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have
three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
requisite celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have
some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party
or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips
& start over. But hurry ... January is just around the corner. Remember
this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body. Rather, to skid in
sideways, chocolate in one hand, A Coke in the other, body thoroughly used
up, totally worn out and screaming,

' WOO HOO, what a ride!'"

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Rosco

I am sitting here this morning making baby food for Raeleigh and taking a trip down memory lane.
For some reason this morning I cant stop thinking about my first love. He was a huge athlete. He did Football, Basketball, Volleyball...you name it. He was the star of parades, and the small town I grew up in even designed a tee-shirt honoring him. He was tall, dark, handsome and covered in fur. Rosco was his name. I was Rosco.
I have ALWAYS had a flair for the dramatic, but little did I know how much trying out for mascot my 8th grade year would affect my ability to have an outlet for that creative energy. On a whim my 8th grade year I picked up a cheerleader tryout application and decided to go out for mascot. To be quite honest I did it for the shoes. I LOVED those asics!
My skit for tryouts was just the beginning of a beautiful relationship with my alter ego, Rosco. If I remember correctly it had some sort of looney tunes theme and I was hunting a rabbit--the rest of that tryout is a blur. I do remember having to learn a dance for tryouts and had to do that with the cheerleaders--not my forte. But I did it and got JV mascot. There was a JV and Varsity spot and freshmen were ineligible for varsity.
WOW! That next year was great. I hod so much fun! There was camp, then pep rallys and games. People at school knew me but only knew me as Rosco. Not many people called me Rachel. I began creating my most dynamic character ever--granted I had 3 years to do this.
Rosco LOVED to dance. He even got reprimanded for freak dancing on the 50 yard line at an out of town pregame showdown between the 2 mascots. OK--so i may have crossed the line when i got a running start slid across the field on my knees and humped the air. BUT hey, it was great entertainment.--I wont the dance off BTW.
Rosco had it all. Costumes, props, his own money, a horse, cars...you name it He had it.
I liked Rosco to be sort of a Cartoon quality superhero. He was always dressed to the Nines and had surprises up every sleeve.
His costumes included but was not limited to...
Football ensemble--jersey and shorts
cowboy with caps holster with a bone sequin belt buckle with his name on it and vest...all with fringes and even faux snake skin boots to match with a white horse (on a bicycle so I could actually ride it)
a tuxedo
a men in black suit with the ray bans
a mardi gras cape and mask for parades
bell bottoms, and leisure vest
a maintenance outfit with mop caddy
an Indian outfit with drum, headdress and peace pipe
basketball outfit
Jamaican dog with dreadlocks and hat
man...the list goes on
Rosco had money with his pic on it that he used to bribe tv crews to put him on TV when they came to the games.
of course a wallet and ID
a Cadillac
I tried out the next year and got varsity squad. This year was the best. At the athletic banquet I got a standing ovation (so surreal). This was the year I got best Mascot at camp. Then to top it all off I made it to NCA nationals and won 2nd best mascot in the nation. TOTALLY COOL. The event was even televised. My skit for that even was my favorite. I was Cowboy Rosco with my horse and bone holster. The scene opened with instrumental music from pink floyd (i did my own music BTW). I pop up from behind a huge bolder on my horse. We are in the desert with cactus' and tumble weed. We find a HUGE 3ft tall rattle snake. I JUMP off my horse, draw my bone and whack the snake over the head. I then pick him up and wrestle him back behind the bolder where i began. (mixed music playing) I come up with a HUUUUUGE needle and thread like I am sewing something behind the rock. Then the music abruptly changes to THESE BOOTS are MADE for Walking--I come out behind the boulder strutting and showing off my new snake skin boots that match the snake i just killed. I get back on my horse and ride off into the sunset. TOOO MUCH FUN!
The next year i made varsity again and had a blast. I need to upload some pics.
Well the kiddos call so my trip cometh to an end.
RIP Rosco...maybe one day I can find a reason to resurrect you!

I would love to buy a suit and do some sort of children's ministry at hospitals....hmmmmm--dunno how to make that one happen

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Nov 2008 portraits








Endocrinologist

FINALLY! The day came. I went to the endocrinologist this morning.
There is still a 1 cm lump. The strange thing is tht the original ultrasound found it inferior an d today she found it superior. Hmmm. But it is the same size and it is actually tender to the touch.
She was kinda baffled by me. I have decreased uptake all over my thyroid but my blood tests came back normal--on the high end of normal, meaning I am fine.
I AM DEFINATELY NOT FINE!
My GP put me in 25mcg of synthroid a month ago when i found out it would take me sooooo long to get into endocin specialist. The Doc today didnt change that and even hinted about stopping it.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I am a new woman now that I am on it!
But she did stress something today that I knew but hadnt been considering--postpartum thyroiditis can last for up to 1 year after birth and could be my problem. Raeleigh is only 5 mo so I could still have another 7 mo of ups and downs.
I go back in 2 months so we will see...

For now...T3, T4 out ;)

Monday, November 17, 2008

Joyful

I am joyful today. Why you may ask...? Well I am joyful for the simple things. I am joyful that I feel relatively well.
I am joyful that I want to provide for my family's domestic needs.
I am joyful that I know God.
I am joyful that I have the ability to share God and His word with others.
I am joyful for friends, and family.
I am joyful for my life...
I spent this day doing laundry, feeding kids, pushing reese in her swing, making baby food, preparing Jason a weeks worth of prepackaged ready-to-go breakfasts, preparing food items for a weeks worth of cooking, folding and putting up clothes and I am so very thankful and JOYFUL for those things.
Praise God that I can be so very happy in so very simple things!

Psalm 100:2
Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.

Psalm 33:1
Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous; it is fitting for the upright to praise him.

Psalm 68:3
But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful.

Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Colossians 1:11
being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully

1 Thessalonians 5:16
Be joyful always

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Epiphany




Last week in formation group we learned about and discussed the Trinity, Godhead, three person God--whatever you want to call it it is still hard to wrap your head around.
This perspective REALLY helped me to 'get it'
God and Jesus are both one person and at the same time two seperate entities.
I like to think of God as the will and Jesus as the WORD.

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God...the Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us." John 1:1, 14

Well as you know the trinity is 3. So there is God and Jesus and The Holy spirit. I like to think of the Spirit as the Way, the relationship...the spirit that moves us..the Life and Love of God in us.

Ok so if this is so (which it IS) then Jesus always was and is and will be just as God was, and is, and will be. Jesus on Earth longed to be with God as he once was, meaning he was conscious of the Trinity and his onesness with God. The Spirit comes into being from the closeness and love of the relationship between God and Jesus.

Ok, so this week we studied 'humankind and the creation'...WOW! I made a connection that I was never aware of before.

We all have been told that we are made in God's image. But think, if God is a godhead/Trinity/3 person God, what does that mean for how mankind was made.

I had read the creation story in Genesis 1-2 many many times...but THIS I never caught!

26 Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, [b] and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

Genesis 1:26-27

Notice the language
US
Our
it doesnt say me or my. We arent just created like God, we are created like the trinity. And what is the trinity other than the perfect model of relationship.
NOw notice v 27...this blew my mind!
First it states God created man in his own image..meaning the godhead
then it restates in the image of God he created him...him? this word threw me off momentarily until I read...
male and female he created them

ok, this is what I got from this...
in my mind the statement 'in the image of God he created him' tries to define what him is. Him isnt a singular male person. Him refers to the trinity God mirrors in humankind...so Him refers to the union
then is says 'male and female he created them'--to me this refers to the parts of the whole

Now remember that God didnt created mankind out of any sort of need. God created mankind through the fullness of His love. He created mankind to share this love and joy with them. God is his own self-existent community. He doesnt need us, he wanted to gift this expereince to us.

knowing this think about the implications.
If God is community and we are created in His image of the 3 person God...

Then isnt it safe to assume that humankind, as God created it, is not a unit until it is in community

My eyes opened wide as I realized the implications of this in marriage.
There was no male before there was female, so when God says that he created Him he does not mean male as we think of it. He means the 3 person 'person'. Male and female he created them defines the parts of the whole.

So
if God + jesus + that realtionship (aka Holy Spirit) = will + word + way = trinity
and we are made in that image
and God created humankind out of the love in that relationship

then

husband + wife + that relationship = image of God = Trinity
and the desire to procreate (have children) mirrors God's desire to creat humankind out of the love in that relation ship.
WOW! This openes so many doors in my mind!

This is why having children out of wedlock is so difficult...because humankind was created in the image of the Trinity and the loss of any one of the three parts disrupts the whole that we were created to be.

God doesnt sit in heaven creating rules...God is sitting in Heaven waiting for humankind to open the owners manual he sent us long ago (the Bible)...
the Bible isnt meant to confine us to some rigid ideal, it is meant to free us to be what we mere made to be....

This is why premarital sex is so emotionally painful... the relationship that is needed to finish out the 3 person 'person' we were created to be isnt there or doesnt last.

This is why divorce hurts so badly.

This is why any breakup is painful.

We are MEANT to be in union! any any piece of that outside of the 3 part formula is incomplete and we werent made to be incomplete!

WOW!
I love GOD!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

TRick oR TReAt 08!

A cowgirl anda horse walk into a bar...








we had a great time but late that night Reese got VERY sick and vomited EVERYWHERE--and we hadnt even given her any candy yet....YUCK!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Meadowbrook Messenger




I am starting a neighborhood newsletter. A neighbor and I delivered more than half of them today. My feet hurt but it was fulfilling. I hope good things come of it!

The Meadowbrook Neighborhood association is back alive and kicking. We are in infancy as far as organization and planning. We can use all the help and ideas we can get.
This Newsletter will be published once monthly in order to increase communication and relationships between the residents of Brewster, Meadowbrook and Darden Streets.
In the past, these three streets have been referred to as the Meadowbrook Neighborhood Association, and we plan to revive that title and the spirit of brotherly love and relationship in our community.
The content of this newsletter will vary each month but the staple topics will include but are not limited to news, prayer requests, upcoming events, neighborhood watch updates, and stay in touch information.
All Residents are Invited to the upcoming Neighborhood planning meeting at Meadowbrook Baptist Fellowship hall on Nov.11 at 7pm in order to help get things off the ground and rolling.
Hope to see you there!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

New woman

I AM A NEW WOMAN! I feel wonderful. Is this waht I am supposed to feel like? If so, I have been sick a long time!
I mopped, rearranged, painted, scrubbed, vaccumed, washed, played, handiworked, etc yesterday and no nap and went out afterwards and didnt miss a beat. WOW! I actually feel 27 again instead of 57. I AM A NEW WOMAN!
YAY synthroid and YAY God!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Autoimmunity and Endocrinology 101

There has been alot of health stuff going on with me right now and just thought I would help to shed some light on what actually is happening...
First let me give you some explanations so you can understand me better--

Autoimmune diseases arise from an overactive immune response of the body against substances and tissues normally present in the body. In other words, the body attacks its own cells.

Endocrinology is a branch of medicine dealing with disorder of the endocrine system and its specific secretions called hormones.

The thyroid is one of the largest endocrine glands in the body. This gland is found in the neck inferior to (below) the thyroid cartilage (also known as the Adam's apple in men) and at approximately the same level as the cricoid cartilage. The thyroid controls how quickly the body burns energy, makes proteins, and how sensitive the body should be to other hormones.

The thyroid participates in these processes by producing thyroid hormones, principally thyroxine (T4) and triiodothyronine (T3). These hormones regulate the rate of metabolism and affect the growth and rate of function of many other systems in the body. Iodine is an essential component of both T3 and T4. The thyroid also produces the hormone calcitonin, which plays a role in calcium homeostasis.

Hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) are the most common problems of the thyroid gland.

Hashimoto's thyroiditis or chronic lymphocytic thyroiditis is an autoimmune disease where the body's own T-cells attack the cells of the thyroid. It was the first disease to be recognised as an autoimmune disease.

Why do I share such info? So you can uderstand what follows.
Since Raeleigh was born I was terribly fatigued, was losing hair, my psoriasis was worsening (i even began to have pits in my fingernails, a psoriasis sympton I had not yet experienced) A few weeks ago I had my second bout with hashimoto's thyroiditis (my first was my sophomore year in college). My thyroid swole and was terribly sensitive. I was so very tired. I napped when the girls napped, I slept as late as I possibly could and I went to bed as early as possible. It felt alot like depression but with a bit of hypoglycemia mixed in.

I went to GP had my throid blood levels tested and he sent me to get an ultrasound. In the ultrasound they found a nodule. This scared me a bit.
My mom was 5 years older than I am when she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. To rule out cancer they sent me to get a Radioactive Thyroid Uptake exam and thyroid scan at Hillcrest. I waited what felt like FOREVER for them to get back with me. Finally I got the call. NO hot or cold spots (a cold spot could mean cancer). BUt get this...
There was minimal uptake over the whole thyroid.
Translation--the WHOLE thyroid isnt working.
So THAT is why my psoriasis is worse, that is why my hair is falling out, that is why i am tired, that is why my joints hurt, that is why sooooo many unexplained ailments have been plaguing me.
So the next step was to wait to get a call for my appt to the endocinologist (endocrine system doctor). I waited and waited and waited and FINALLY got that call...they couldnt get me in until Nov 20th.
NOVEMEBER TWENTIETH!?!?!?!
I AM MISERABLE!!!!
So I made an appt with my GP again. Told her the situation, showed her my psoriasis and connected all the dots of my symptoms for her and....
1. she gave me a small dose of synthroid (synthetic t4 thyroid hormone)
and
2. Now wants me to go see a rheumatologist

one more defination for you

Rheumatology is a sub-specialty in internal medicine and pediatrics, devoted to the diagnosis and therapy of rheumatic diseases. Rheumatologists mainly deal with clinical problems involving joints, soft tissues and allied conditions of connective tissues. The term rheumatology originates from the Greek word rheuma, meaning "that which flows as a river or stream" and the suffix -ology, meaning "the study of."

Rheumatology is a rapidly evolving medical specialty; new scientific discoveries related to this specialty are largely related to better understanding of immunology of these disorders. Pathogenesis of major rheumatological disorders is now described as autoimmune disorders. Immunology explains pathogenesis and the characteristics of rheumatological disorders, and most of the new treatment modalities are based on immunology, better understanding of genetic basis of rheumatological disorders makes rheumatology a specialty rapidly developing as a medical specialty based on new scientific discoveries. New treatment modalities are based on scientific research on immunology, cytokines, T lymphocytes, B lymphocytes and future therapies may be directed more towards gene therapy as well.

SOOO...
Basically, she thinks something bigger is going on with me. SOmething overreaching and autoimmune causeing all of these various conditions

Bit of History--my mom has Lupus

Systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE or lupus, pronounced /sɪˈstɛmɪk ˈluːpəs ˌɛrəˌθiməˈtoʊsəs/) is a chronic autoimmune disease that can be fatal; however, with recent medical advances, fatalities are becoming increasingly rare. As with other autoimmune diseases, the immune system attacks the body’s cells and tissue, resulting in inflammation and tissue damage. SLE can affect any part of the body, but most often harms the heart, joints, skin, lungs, blood vessels, liver, kidneys, and nervous system. The course of the disease is unpredictable, with periods of illness (called flares) alternating with remissions. Lupus can occur at any age, and is most common in women, particularly of non-European descent.[1] Lupus is treatable through addressing its symptoms, mainly with corticosteroids and immunosuppressants; however there is currently no cure. Survival in patients with SLE in the United States, Canada, and Europe is approximately 95% at 5 years, 90% at 10 years, and 78% at 20 years


So that is where I sit. Waiting on the call now for the rheumatology appt. So I will probably be waiting and waiting and waiting but hopefully it will be worth it.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Small steps to faith...the Glory of God

I am trying. I am falling short, but I am still trying. To have faith that is.

This has been the worst and best month by far financially and spiritually for Jason and I.
Beginning of this month (or was it the end of last???) I paid bills and had $20. $20 and no food nor groceries nor diapers...TWENTY BUCKS!
The flesh in me began to freak! Then I realized, I HAVENT EVEN TITHED! So I wrote that check and Jason and I decided to just 'have faith'. MAN THAT IS HARD!

We felt it was only fair to meet God half way and guess what...OUR TITHE HAS BEEN RETURNED TO US TEN FOLD! I AM NOT EXAGGERATING!!!!!!!!!

We sold various items around the house, Jason went on a business trip and got mileage and food stipends, we had a MASSIVE garage sale and made close to $2000 total.
But this is the story that really moves me.

We decided that if we werent going to sell the house that we at least were going to truly downsize, get rid of things we even wanted but didnt truly need.
I sold my treadmill. I love my treadmill...but truth be told I hadnt used it in a WHILE and it acted up on me so it was more of a frustration than anything. I told Jason to sell it for $100--he decided $60 when he found out it had a glitch. We did just that and...
I got this letter in my mailbox yesterday. Now mind you, it wasnt mailed...it had been hand delivered to my box...

Hello,
My name is Tammy, I'm, the lady who bought the treadmill from you. You were asking $100 for it at first. I agreed to pay that, then you called and said it was stopping every 2 minutes. You said if I was still interested you would take $60. I still wanted to see it.
Well after i got it home, plugged it in and began to use it I realized nothing was wrong with it. It has NEVER stopped for me.
Anyway, What I am trying to say is...
I feel I need to give you the rest of your money. I agreed to $100 at first.
The Lord has been telling me "do the right thing." I try my best to listen to Him. He is ALWAYS right.
thanks again for the treadmill, I LOVE IT!
Tammy Raley


WOW! huh! That has God written all over it. Deny it?
Well what is even more amazing is that Jason remembered her saying she lived in Crawford...she drove all the way to my house and personally put that in my box with the money. Praise GOD!
His blessings never cease to amaze me!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

mousy morning!




ok, so 2 nights ago at about midnight I fed raeleigh and needed something to drink after I laid her down. I headed to the kitchen, turned on the light and WHAM! There was a disgusting grey mouse on the counter. We fight mice continually but we didnt think we had any at the time...i made a really grossed out strange noise and Jason came running. I told him what I had seen and he cussed a little. The next night (last night) i sat glue traps out on the counter baited with cheese. I got up this morning and...nothing. MAN! I KNOW i had seen one.
Well we always keep bait underthe house cause like I said, this is a constant battle. This moring I am sitting at kitchen table working on comp and THERE IT IS! A MOUSE! Casually strolling across my kitchen floor in no particular hurry. I said a few obscenities and stoped towards it trying to scare it off....man, this thing was slow! It must have gotten into the bait under the hosue, it wasnt acting right...so get this...
I pick the glue trap up off the counter and dropped it on the thing. IT LET ME CATCH IT! Well at least it is gone. And I am certain it was the one i had seen. Lets hope there arent babies anywhere!
YUCK!!!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Election 08

I got this information via an email forward froma good friend. I have sat the fence most of this election year. First I said if Clinton got nominated, i was definately voting mcCain and now that Obama is the nominee i didnt know where to go from there. I even thought about not voting at all. But as I think about it more and more I find myself agreeing with this forward in that my Christianity comes before all else political...


Everything below is via email and IS NOT my own...

My aunt sent me this article, and I have added the 2 links below concerning
this man. No matter what your political persuasion, I recommend that
everyone read his article below. We all need to be informed and it
crystallized for me that putting Christianity above all else, is where I
need to be. It is lengthy, but please read all the way to the bottom. He
brings up comparisons that I had never thought of. If you are an Obama fan,
then please at least be open-minded enough to look at this man's opinion. I
respect everyone's opinion, even though I may not agree, and I do try to
read both sides of the picture in order to make an informed decision.

http://www.huntleybrown.com/Biography/Biography.htm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpK75kpA90s

Why I Can't Vote For Obama
By Huntley Brown

Dear Friends,

A few months ago I was asked for my perspective on Obama, I sent out an
email with a few points. With the election just around the corner I decided
to complete my perspective. Those of you on my e-list have seen some of this
before but it's worth repeating...

First I must say whoever wins the election will have my prayer support.
Obama needs to be commended for his accomplishments but I need to explain
why I will not be voting for him.

Many of my friends process their identity through their blackness. I process
my identity through Christ. Being a Christian (a Christ follower) means He
leads, I follow. I can't dictate the terms, He does because He is the
leader.
I can't vote black because I am black; I have to vote Christian because
that's who I am. Christian first, black second. Neither should anyone from
other ethnic groups vote because of ethnicity. 200 years from now I won't be
asked if I was black or white. I will be asked if I knew Jesus and accepted
Him as Lord and Savior.

In an election there are many issues to consider but when a society gets
abortion, same-sex marriage, embryonic stem-cell research, human cloning -
to name a few, then wrong economic concerns will soon not matter.

We need to follow Martin Luther King's words, 'don't judge someone by the
color of their skin but by the content of their character.' I don't know
Obama, so all I can go on is his voting record. His voting record earned him
the title of the most liberal senator in the US Senate in 2007.

> http://nj.nationaljournal.com/voteratings/
> http://nj.nationaljournal.com/voteratings/

NATIONAL JOURNAL: Obama: Most Liberal Senator in 2007 (01/31/2008)

To beat Ted Kennedy and Hilary Clinton as the most liberal senator, takes
some doing. Obama accomplished this feat in 2 short years. I wonder what
would happen to America if he had four years to work with.

There is a reason Planned Parenthood gives him a 100 % rating. There is a
reason the homosexual community supports him. There is a reason
Ahmadinejad, Chavez, Castro, Hamas etc. love him. There is a reason he said
he would nominate liberal judges to the Supreme Court. There is a reason he
voted against the infanticide bill. There is a reason he voted 'No' on the
constitutional ban of same-sex marriage.

There is a reason he voted 'No' on banning partial birth abortion. There is
a reason he voted 'No' on confirming Justices Roberts and Alito. These two
judges are conservatives and they have since overturned partial birth
abortion. The same practice Obama wanted to continue.

Let's take a look at the practice he wanted to continue. The 5 Step
Partial Birth Abortion procedures:

A. Guided by ultrasound, the abortionist grabs the baby's leg with forceps.
(Remember this is a live baby)
B. The baby's leg is pulled out into the birth canal.
C. The abortionist delivers the baby's entire body, except for the head. D.
The abortionist jams scissors into the baby's skull. The scissors are
then opened to enlarge the hole.
E. The scissors are removed and a suction catheter is inserted. The child's
brains are sucked out, causing the skull to collapse. The dead baby is then
removed.

God help him.

There is a reason Obama opposed the parental notification law.

Think about this: You can' not give a child an aspirin without parental
notification but that same child can have an abortion without parental
notification. This is insane.

There is a reason Obama went to Jeremiah Wright's church for 20 years.

Obama tells us he has good judgment, but he sat under Jeremiah Wright's
teaching for 20 years. Now he is condemning Wright's sermons. I wonder why
now?

Obama said Jeremiah Wright led him to the Lord and discipled him. A
disciple is one in training. Jesus told us in Matthew 28:19 - 20 'Go and make disciples of all nations.' This means reproduce yourself. Teach people
to think like you, walk like you; talk like you believe what you believe etc. The question I have is what did Jeremiah Wright teach him?

> Would you support a White President who went to a church which has tenets
> that said they have a
> 1. Commitment to the White Community
> 2. Commitment to the White Family
> 3. Adherence to the White Work Ethic
> 4. Pledge to make the fruits of all developing and acquired skills available
> to the White Community.
> 5. Pledge to Allocate Regularly, a Portion of Personal Resources for
> Strengthening and Supporting White Institutions
> 6. Pledge allegiance to all White leadership who espouse and embrace the
> White Value System
> 7. Personal commitment to embracement of the White Value System.

Would you support a President who went to a church like that?

Just change the word from white to black and you have the tenets of Obama's
former church. If President Bush was a member of a church like this, he
would be called a racist. Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton would have been
marching outside.

This kind of church is a racist church. Obama did not wake up after 20 years
and just discover he'd been going to a racist church. The TRUE church can't
be about race. Jesus did not come for any particular race. He came for the
whole world.

A church can't have a value system based on race. The churches value system
has to be based on biblical mandates. It does not matter if it's a white
church or a black church based on racial values, it's still wrong. Anyone from either race that attends a church like this would never get my vote.

Obama's former Pastor Jeremiah Wright is a disciple of liberal theologian
James Cone, author of the 1970 book 'the goals of the black community'. If
God is not for us and against white people, then he is a murderer, and we
had better kill him.

Cone is the man Obama's mentor looks up to. Does Obama believe this?

So what does all this mean for the nation?

In the past when the Lord brought someone with the beliefs of Obama to lead
a nation it meant one thing - judgment.

Read 1 Samuel 8 when Israel asked for a king. First God says in 1 Samuel 1:9

'Now listen to them; but warn them solemnly and let them know what the king
who will reign over them will do.'

Then God says in 1 Samuel 1:18 ' When that day comes, you will cry out for
relief from the king you have chosen, and the LORD will not answer you in
that day.' 19 But the people refused to listen to Samuel. 'No!' they said.
'We want a king over us. 20 Then we will be like all the other nations, with a king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles.' 21 When Samuel heard all that the people said, he repeated it before the LORD. 22 The LORD answered, 'Listen to them and give them a king.
Here is what we know for sure.

God is not schizophrenic

He would not tell one person to vote for Obama and one to vote for McCain.
As the scripture says, a city divided against itself cannot stand, so
obviously many people are not hearing from God. Maybe I am the one not
hearing but I know God does not change and Obama contradicts many things I
read in scripture so I doubt it.

For all my friends who are voting for Obama can you really look God in the
face and say; Father ,based on your word, I am voting for Obama even though
I know he will continue the genocidal practice of partial birth abortion. He
might have to nominate three or four Supreme Court justices, and I am sure
he will be nominating liberal judges who will be making laws that are
against you. I also know he will continue to push for homosexual rights,
even though you destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah for this. I know I can look
the other way because of the economy.

I could not see Jesus agreeing with many of Obama's positions. Finally I have two questions for all my liberal friends.

Since we know someone's value system has to be placed on the nation,

1. Whose value system should be placed on the nation.
2. Who should determine that this is the right value system for the nation?

Blessings,
Huntley Brown

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Restoration Gateway Uganda

So I was on facebook just goofing off and I happened across this. The material alone moved me deeply and then I realized that alot of the work has been done by one of my old students--Stephen McCall, he is the son of Tim and Janic McCall. That is so surreal.
Praise God for true servants.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2400765338



http://restorationgateway.com/

Things to watch INSTEAD of presidential debate









































































WOW! This was fun!

Love it!

It's Raining on me...

I am at a time in my life where I feel like it is just raining on me constantly. When I feel overwhelmed I think of this song...

I can count a million times
People asking me how I Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mindTo turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the stormBut instead I draw closer through these times
So I prayBring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be freeBring me anything that brings You glory And I know there'll be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You Jesus, bring the rain
I am yours regardless of the clouds that may loom above because you are much greater than my pain you who made a way for me suffering your destiny so tell me whats a little rain
[1st Chorus]
Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
is the lord God almighty
is the lord God almighty
I'm forever singing
[2nd Chorus 2x]everybody singing
Holy holy holy
you are holy you are holy
[2nd Chorus 2x]

...it makes me remember that we CAN and SHOULD priase Him in everything.
Right now I am awaiting word as to whether I have a cancerous thyroid nodule. I had an ultrasound while suffering from thyroiditis a week and a half ago and they found a nodule then. I had to do a 2 day thyroid scan and uptake exam. These tests required me to take a small amount of radioactive iodine. The iodine in my system didnt allow me to breastfeed my 4mo old. All this was happening while my husband is out of town for 5 days taking 2 certification exams for microsoft.
My mom fell off her horse and broke her wrist so badly that she had to have emergency surgery to place pins through her flesh to an external 8 in bar.
Reese's periatric optomologist appt is in a week or so.
Raeleigh's birthmark requires that follow up visit asap, we are going in Nov. There are now little white bumps in the mark.
I think I have a follow up to my gp but i cant even think straight enough to remember.
I am still fighting the sell or not to sell battle in my head with the house.
Jason is selling his truck.
We are having a garage sale.
...You know what...i feel myself rambling and I am realizing just now how trivial most of this is. Most of it isnt even trials it is just stuff to do. I guess it really isnt raining after all, maybe just sprinkling.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Remembering DeJa

When I was in 8th grade our family dog died...his name was collar. We loved collar soooo much and were ripped to pieces when he had to be put down. We are all dog lovers and a few weeks later decided it was time to move on. That is when dipity joined our family. Dipity is my namesake--"boobie" that is. Dipity lived for a good 14 years and had to be euthanized in her old age. My mom's heart was broken. That was her best friend. Everyone told her, get a dog, move on, it will get easier...it took her a while but she did just that and this is where precious little Deja comes into the picture. She was a huge blonde dog that thought she was a tiny lap dog. She loved everyone and shared hugs and kisses on a whim. She was so very beautiful , all 120 lbs of her. I heard my mom refer to her as the morning sunshine, she brightened everyones day. Her name was in memory of SerenDIPITY, she was DEJA voo.
We went to my parents this weekend and DeJa went to heaven. She got hit in front of my mom and reese. I was right there too but oulny 'heard' it. We all rode down to mailbox in the trailer on the lawnmower. Deja Followed so happily and jubilent, as was her nature. She detoured to the horse pasture where she went for a 'roll' and then into the pond for a quick rinse off. She was having such a good time and you could read it all over her. Mom opened the gate to get to the mailbox and told Deja to stay. Deja was so happy and excited that she didnt heed the warning. Off she galloped away across the small 2 lane highway. Mom and Reese hand in hand proceeded to the mail box, got the mail and headed back calling Deja. Just then a truck topped the hill hitting the max limit for the area at a whopping 55MPH. Mom sreamed and flagged and screamed and jumped the whole 10 seconds before impact--but the truck never slowed, stopped or even veered. Mom hit her knees screaming and rocking and holding little Reese. The driver didnt even stop and Deja was a 12o lb dog...i dont see how they even drove away. We screamed and screamed for jason and Dad to no immediate avail.
It was an emotional weekend for my parents. Reese just kept saying Deja car BOBO...where is deja...:(. I had to just send my mom and the kids back to the house and find Deja, she had been thrown 10 feet into a ditch and was spit open, her back was broke and everything was 'out'. She was still alive and moving her head but not crying or anything...I know she didnt even feel anything b/c of the back break. OH I prayed so hard that my dad wouldnt have to shoot her, that she would just go. Dad loved that dog too. But she was suffering.
The bad thing was that we were at the end of the pasture and the house sits at the back....we were screaming for the guys to come help. Dad heard and came running thinking mom had run over reese with the lawnmower....
I saw him running and thought OH GOD please dont let him have a heart attack...(his dad has had 5)I had to stay with DeJa while dad went back up to get his rifle. Mom came back down after giving Jason the kids and just laid on the ground next to her holding her and sobbing...it was rough. But Deja immediately relaxed and mom spoke soothingly to her telling her she was loved and good and beautiful, DeJa was waiting on her...I KNOW she was. I am going to have a hard time getting that image and moms screams out of my head. But all that matters is that DeJa knew she was loved...and you know what...She STILL is.

Here is the memorial mom set up for DeJa and to try to get information on the truck that hit her...it could have sooo easily been mom and Reese. Whoever it was was so out of it that they MUST have been drunk or High, it was sooo totally senseless!





After it was all said and done, I was trying to calm mom down and be sure she had her head on her shoulders I had the realization that I had gotten very bloody holding and praying over precious little DeJA. And those of you who know your stuff will understand me when I say that I felt like I needed some:




OUT OUT DAMNED SPOT...


just make it not so






They found the truck that we know hit her, it has grill and hood damage with duct tape holing the headlight on...

The man is an alcoholic and is constantly drinking and driving...

I guess this is when it stinks to live in a small town where EVERYONE knows you, your vehicle and where you live.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Once Upon a Time...

I would like to tell you a story. I am sharing this not for you to pity me nor see me as a charity case but to Glorify God in my situation. Please do not feel like I am asking you to bail me out, I realize that the circumstances I am in are because of my sinful ways [wasting money, eating out (come to find out food is an idol in my life), living above my means]...I have made alot of bad decisions--couple that with a few major plumbing problems, an expensive childbirth and here I sit today.
So here goes...
I am at the end of a very trying 2 week period. Two weeks ago today I sat down to finalize my budget and found myself to have only $20 left and no groceries nor gas. Hmmmm, I didnt see how that was going to work. I finagled this and then I finagled that and THEN, THEN, THEN, I realized I HADNT EVEN TITHED! I have made a new vow that I WILL tithe 10%, something I had yet to do in my adult life. I sighed, tried to take myself out of it (HA) and started over with a tithe. After much moaning and anxiety and prayer I just had to let it go becaue there was nothing I could do and now I was even deeper in the whole than when I started out.
WHAT A BLESSING AND A TEST IN FAITH THIS HAS BEEN!
OK, so first off Jason and I came up with tons of items to sell to help make ends meet
treadmill
dvd stand
patio table
chi plat iron
over 50 DVDs
VHS
Rifle
Coke ice cream table
deep freeze
and the list continues.
We made some real headway this way and in the process learned to not build up treasures here on Earth and to live more simply.
Then in conversation with my mom it came out about my situation. Mom usually sends the girls money for their saving account. She sent that and then some...$200. That was enough to cover my groceries.
Jason and I were so thankful that we had to share this experience with our life group and a few friends. A few days later we got an anonymous Walmart Gift Card in the mail for $60...that was gas $$.
God is so good.
How very prideful of me to try to fix the situation on paper, to try to find a way to make it work, to believe that I could change it somehow. Just giving up in my flesh and handing it to God made order come out of chaos.
Believe me, I am no expert when it comes to handing stresses over to God but WOW! I did and WOW! It made such a believer out of me. Isnt it funny that although we say we 'believe' in God and 'believe' His word that we find it so difficult to actually obey. I never realized disbelief was such a stronghold in my life. To just obey in the purest sense of the word...God says so and then I do it.
How much easier would life be if we lived that way?

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Spirit of fear...

I have fear. I fear lots of things. But mostly I fear for my safety and the safety of my family. These are deep rooted fears. But tonight as I did my Beth Moore Study I got to thinking about this fear I have.
I want to walk every day. I have been paralysed with fear because that means taking 2 kids and myself out without Jason. That makes me feel soooo vulnerable.
I know that God does not give me the spirit of fear!!!
I am going to make myself do it. I realize that the fear I will pass along to my girls by fearing to do these things it far more dangerous than just going for a walk...
So here goes...tomorrow is a new day.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Sick and tired, literally...

I am so frustrated with being sick.
I am so tired of being tired.
I am just realy for SOMETHING to be easy...
I dont even care what...just something

socially, spiritually, financially, health, attitude, energy, even breastfeeding...

Something has got to give soon or this 'tree' is gonna snap in two.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

'DOES NOT PLAY WELL WITH OTHERS"

DISCLAIMER:
This is raw truth!


WOW! I had no idea that my inability to be a team player stemmed from a deep rooted prideful sin.
I NEVER played a team sport. I mean,NEVER! I was on the cheerleading squad but as the mascot. I was inable to do something that required me to rely on anyone else. I do not trust. I always feel that if I want smething done right I just have to do it myself. I get angry when told what to do. I dont like someone else's idea to be chosen over my own...
I am currently participating in a Beth Moore Study entitled Breaking Free and learning how to not be a captive anymore. I am a captive of my own pridefulness and didnt even realize that I was being prideful at all. I never thought pride to be one of my big weaknesses--but man was I wrong.
In leadership roles I feel in control and 'know' my vision is being accomplished. I love being the leader. I have always had a very hard time being an indian to any other chief. The deal was, either I was in control or I just shut down. I didnt know how to do what I was told. That is a real problem for me. In my mind I always know better, see a bigger and better picture, and think everyone around me is stupid and just doing it wrong...
"If I were in charge of that..."
You know how it goes.
Well in doing my study tonight I really learned something about myself...that feeling I have always had about "not playing well with others" it is true, but it is MY FAULT! And more importantly, I can do something about it. I can humble myself and realize that I am NOT the best thing since sliced bread and I DO NOT have all the right answers even 1/2 of the time.
You know, that is really liberating. I dont feel like it is my job to make everything perfect. Because what might be perfect in my eyes is just that, my own personal definition of perfect--and every one has their own.
Praise God for showing me this weakness in myself. I Pray that God helpd me to overcome my prideful nature. I pray that God helps me to recognize my pride as pride.

"I live in a High and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite." Isaiah57:15

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Chores

I remember growing up how chores were so terribly dreaded, but what was great about childhood was that there was someone there to MAKE you do them even if you didnt want to. I find as an adult that even thought I know something is the Lords will for me and for my best or for the goodness of my friends or family, I still have a problem with chores.

It amazes me how even things I love to do can somehow be manipulated by be it spiritual warfare or depression or pure laziness and in the end become chores.

In June of 2005 I weighed 145. That is a great weight for me and honestly, I like to have a bit of meat on my bones and feel sexy up to about 185. Two pregnancies later and I find myself hovering at a life time high of 250. WHAT! That cant be right...but sadly it is. I WANT change. I am NOT happy. But yet that desire to be healthier and better gets distorted into a chore and I find myself munching on junk food and 'forgetting' to work out. I even make excuses to myself, "well the kids were especially hard today and you deserve a break". Truth be told, they are ALWAYS difficult and if I allowed myself to use that excuse I would NEVER lift a finger. I want my body to be the Temple that God desires. I feel as a dissapointment and that I lose some level of authority because I have such a very visibal sin and weakness. I know gluttony and slothedness can not be good and are even wicked but changing that pattern becomes a chore for me. Someone hold me accountable! Someone tell the fat girl to run!

I just started a Beth Moore Study and I am excited about it and love the study and time in scripture, prayer and with God. But you know what, as I sat here tonight doing my study I had a very difficult time concentrating...and then it hit me...man, even this is a chore. I chose to do it. I enjoy it. I love the opportunity and material...so waht is the problem?

I love a clean house, especially sparkling clean floors. But for some reason I cant make myself do the thing that i KNOW would put me at ease. OK, you may think me nuts...but I would LOVE to clean my kitchen and hardwood floors once a week on my hands and knees for a really gooooood clean. A mop just never cuts it for me...and even though I know the results would make me so pleased and at ease I just couldnt make myself do it this week.

I love the look on Jason's face when he comes in from work and there is a piping hot delicious dinner on the table. One that I put time and thought and effort into. To me that is love. Not only do i partly see it as my job I see it as a way to communicate to him how much i appreciate what he does every day by getting out of bed and going to work so that I can stay home and raise our children. But at times that is such a chore. I find myself just wanting to get a boxed dinner, or sandwiches or not wanting to cook at all. Why? I mean, I know the result when I do it and I know it is a positive one....why is it a chore when the benefits are so great?

I also started participating in a formation group about 3 weeks ago and I love it and even getting prepared for that feels like one more thing to check off the neverending list.

I want to get to a place where living a Christlike life isnt a struggle. But you know, maybe that is the point. Maybe it never will be easy. Maybe every day I will have to make a conscious EFFORT to do the things that I know are right. Maybe that is the point...it isnt easy because you have to chose it and the flesh in us fights it.

Oh how I wish my flesh would die so that He could live through me.
Oh how I wish that which feels like chores would become play.
I wish I were close enough to him that knowing He desires these things in me and for me would be enough to hold me accountable...
But I am not there, I still need fleshly rigidity and support...

Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen , listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare (Isa 55:2)

Oh God You are my God and I ask you to bless me and this house so that we will desire that our souls will delight in the richest of fare in order to bring you glory.
AMEN

Hukd On fOnikz worcked fur me...

yeah i know i never proofread, so shoot me
see the post below

Friday, September 19, 2008

Miscellaneous mumbles...






What happens in Formation group, STAYS in formation group...



Lose the pucker?



Sonic...that is just a choice you make



bellmead taco bell



a little like vegas but alot more fun



and the list continues...



________________________________________________________






Reese did # 2 in the potty today. I dont think I have ever been so excited to see poop



IN MY LIFE!



________________________________________________________



My dog has allergies soooo badly that he wont step off the concete patio outside, man that stinks!



________________________________________________________



How hilarious would it be fore there to be male chipmunks instead of chip n dales....i would much rater see a bunch of adult men dance around in full out chipmunk suits...totally hilarious...



WAIT



I bet there are, i mean come on they have ice capades for everything these days, surely there is an Alvin, Simon, and Theodore out there SOMEWHERE...hmmmmm


I would totally prefer a bachelorette party THERE. And PLEASE, NO STRIPPING...that is just creepy...

_______________________________________________________


Did you know that Hewitt HEB has THE BEST mashed potatoes in tehre little deli area...i mean ther are like fat in a vat but ohhhhhhhhhhhh so good!

__________________________________________________________
I think house is just a big jerk.
_______________________________________________________
One time on the school bus home I curled my hair on pencils and tampons just to get a few laughs.
________________________________________________________________
Cuckoo.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Despair in Africa


We are such a wealthy nation. I had never seen this pulitzer prize winning phot obefore today and it will haunt me henceforth...

Election 08 compliments of Klove.com


Election '08 Resources
Official Candidate Websites
Democrats
Senator Barack Obamahttp://www.barackobama.com/index.php
Democratic Partyhttp://www.democrats.org/

Barack Obama met with Rick Warren at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., on Saturday, August 16. Click to watch video of Senator Barack Obama's appearance with Rick Warren. Link does not imply endorsement of candidate nor endorsement of comments made by YouTube users. Full version video. (YouTube) - August 20, 2008
Saddleback Forum On Presidency: Barack Obama

Republicans
Senator John McCainhttp://www.johnmccain.com/
Republican National Committeehttp://www.gop.com/
John McCain met with Rick Warren at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., on Saturday, August 16. Click to watch video of Senator John McCain's appearance with Rick Warren. Link does not imply endorsement of candidate nor endorsement of comments made by YouTube users. Part 1 - 4. (YouTube) - August 20, 2008
Saddleback Forum on Presidency: John McCain Part 1
Saddleback Forum on Presidency: John McCain Part 2
Saddleback Forum on Presidency: John McCain Part 3
Saddleback Forum on Presidency: John McCain Part 4

LibertarianBob Barr, Nominee http://www.bobbarr2008.com/splash/video/?s0618
Libertarian Partyhttp://www.lp.org/

Constitution Party
Chuck Baldwin, Candidatehttp://www.baldwin08.com/homepage.cfmConstitution Party Sitehttp://www.constitutionparty.com

Voter Information
Q: “Can I Vote?”Find out if you’re registered and where to cast your ballot!http://www.canivote.org/Link sponsored by the National Association of Secretaries of State
Q: “What if I’m an American voting overseas?”VOTER REGISTRATION For Americans & Soldiers Overseashttps://www.overseasvotefoundation.org/overseas/home.htm

General Election Information
Q: “How Does the Electoral College work?”http://www.archives.gov/federal-register/electoral-college/
Q: “What are the Religious Affiliations of U.S. House and Senate Members?”http://www.adherents.com/adh_congress.html
Q: “What About The Issues and Races in my Own State?” Stateline http://www.stateline.org/live/issues/Elections
Q: “What Do The Latest Zogby Polls Say About The Presidential Race?”Zogby Presidential Polls -- http://www.usaelectionpolls.com/
Q: “Where Does My Local Lawmaker/Candidate Stand On Issues?”Project Vote-Smart http://www.vote-smart.org/

Election Resources for Pastors
Politics and the Pulpit 2008 A Guide to the Internal Revenue Code Restrictions on the Political Activity of Religious Organizations.http://pewforum.org/docs/?DocID=280

Thursday, September 11, 2008

My FAVORITE Praise and Worship song of all time

I am by Eddie James
Verse 1:
I am the Lord, I’m the Almighty God I am the One for when nothing is too hard I am the Shepherd and I am the Door I am the Good news to the bound and the poor
Chorus:I am, I am, I am, I am
Verse 2:
I am the righteous One and I am the Lamb,I am the Ram in the bush for Abraham,I am the Ultimate Sacrifice for sin,I am your Redeemer, the Beginning and the End
Chorus:I am, I am, I am, I am
Verse 3:
I am Jehovah, and I am the King,I am Messiah, David’s Offspring,I am your High Priest, and I am the Christ,I am the Resurrection, I am the Life
Chorus:I am, I am, I am, I am
Verse 4:
I am the Bread, and I am the Wine,I am your Future, so leave your past behind.I am the One in the midst of two or three,I am your Tabernacle, I am your Jubilee.
Chorus:I am, I am, I am, I am

Verse 5:I am Hope, I am Peace, I am Joy, I am Rest,Oh I am your Comfort, and Relief from your stress,I am Strength, I am Faith, I am Love, I am Power,And today I am your Freedom, this very hour.
Chorus:I am, I am, I am, I am
Ending:I am

Insane look alikes

Mark, Jason and Marshall...
hehehe

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Bellmead Taco Bell?


Ok, so LJ and I were going to a movie Friday night and appetizers b4 hand. We decided to meet at the Elite Circle Grille to chit chat b4hand and snack. Well they sometimes have 1/2 price appetizers and I volunteered to call to see if this would be happening when we were planning on going. I go to their site and get their phone #. I call the number and hear "Bellmead Taco bell"...what!?!?! I just apologised and said I had the wrong #. I thought, ok...so maybe there is a typo in their website so I go to switchboard.com and look them up. Same #. But hey, maybe i entered it wrong, so I call again. "Bellmead Taco Bell"

*sigh*

I just han gup without saying anything. I am exasperated so I call LJ and say, everytime I call the numbers I find for this place I get Bellmead Taco Bell I dont know how to get in touch with the Elite. She looks it up in phonebook...something i had yet to think about (what a dufus) and SAME NUMBER! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

So I said well if it is a typo in so many places I am sure they get this all the time so I will just call them back and see if THEY know the # for the Elite.

So I call back and..."Bellmead Taco Bell"

I say, "Look, I am trying to get in touch with the Elite Circle Grille and this is the only # i have been ablet o get my hands on, do you know how I can get the elite...?" SILENCE

"ma'am this IS the Elite Circle Grille."

WHAT!

WHAT!

WHAT!

Ok, so she had a thick accent. I am a retard and Bellmead doesnt even HAVE a taco bell!

Of course LJ called same time as me and got some guy and understood him immediately. SOMEHOW i go the same woman each time I called and she had a very strong hispanic accent..."Bellmead Taco Bell".

HAHAHAHA