Showing posts from August, 2008

Flying Flip

People actually give one.
I have gotten a big response about my last post. It was nice to know that people want me to feel differently. It is nice to know that there are people who care and want to help, eventhough they may not know what that looks like.
Thank you Courtney for the sweet phone call.
She actually even offered to pay for one of Raeleigh's pediatric dermatologist appts since that was really weighing on me. I thought that was really thoughtful and it almost made me cry.
Thank you Dan for saying what you said. It was kind of you and nice to hear.
Thank you LJ for emailing me when I didnt seem to be quite myself.
I love all of you, and appreciate your willingness to just say...I am sorry, how can i help! :)

One of those days...

So I am having one of those days where i think...Did i take my medication this morning?
I mean seriously, i feel like i could tear someones head off, and scream, and cry, and collapse, and need to be held, and want to eat milk and cookies...or drink a bottle of wine all by myself...all at the same time. I am struggling with so many emotions. Some I am sure are legitimate responses and the others...not so sure.
I feel overlooked, left out, unwanted. Sometimes I feel bothersome and annoying and obsurd.
Then on the otherhand I feel unheard, unused and over used all at the same time by different people.
I am having a hard time creating my NO! I am having a hard time not being bitter and wearing my feelings on my sleeve.
Why dont I matter?
What arent my needs and wants considered?
Why is my time unimportant?
Why are my desires ridiculous?
Why does no one ask my my desires in the first place?
Why are relationships so difficult?
Why does my mother hate me?
Why is it that I am supposed to drop everything…



Life Makeover struggle

So far so good, until today. I didnt do my schedueled biggie, i was exhausted when i woke up and didnt follow Reese's new routine but we did get craft, coloring time in, along with reading and alot of hands on play. I took a nap. I want to get away from that.
I played with raeleigh that was good. I dont want to work out tonight...i hope i will. But i dont want to. I did follow my shake regimine today. But I ate a high fat dinner (breakfast for dinne...bacon, sausage, waffles, tortillas, eggs etc). Man was it good...but I am still fat.
Some days i feel like I am making progress and other days i just feel like i still look 5 mo pregnant...very frustrating.
But hey, baby steps. As long as I am stepping I am going to TRY to stay positive.
I just wish I had clothes that fit and were flattering. Sherri and I are going out tomm i think i may stop by cold water creek and see if the styles flatter me...right about now nothing feels flattering.

My LIfe Makeover

So Jason and I had a talk and both decided there were areas of our lives that are just embarassments. We have no discipline and under some circumstances behave completely irresponsibly and I am implementing my own life make over. It is tough...
To begin with
1. I want to get SERIOUS with losing this baby weight. I think in order to do that I must be honest with myself and everyone about where I am and where i want to be. This is sad...I am 253. That is just not ok with me, but for some reason I have a hard time taking that step and getting serious about this diet I am on and daily exercise. My goal, to lose close to 100 lbs in a year to a year and a half. My plan...herbalife shakes for breakfast and lunch along with the vitamin and weight loss regimine and at least 1 exercise session at least 5 days a week--building up to 7 days a week for at least 30 min each day.

2. I want to be a less lazy parent. I use TV and free play too much during the day. I have a hard time …

This is why I am a dog person

(CNN) -- A dog sheltered a newborn baby abandoned by its 14-year-old mother in a field in rural Argentina until the boy was rescued, a doctor said Friday.

The abandoned infant was found in a field with this dog and her newborn puppies.

A resident of a rural area outside La Plata called police late Wednesday night to say that he had heard the baby crying in a field behind his house.
The man went outside and found the infant lying beside the dog and its six newborn puppies, Daniel Salcedo, chief of police of the Province of Buenos Aires, told CNN.
The temperature was a chilly 37 degrees, Salcedo said.
The dog had apparently carried the baby some 50 meters from where his mother had abandoned him to where the puppies were huddled, police said.
"She took it like a puppy and rescued it," Salcedo said. "The doctors told us if she hadn't done this, he would have died."
"The dog is a hero to us."
Dr. Egidio Melia, director of the Melchor Romero Hospital in La Plata, t…

The small things that bring me joy...

I needed this laugh

When it rains in pours

So far this year

Jason' uncle died this year
His aunt is on her death bed
His grandfather was diagnosed with inoperable cancer in his bladder, one kidney has stopped working, he had a heart aneurism and is now hospitalized again with very high temp, convulsions etc and hasnt even got a chance to start chemo yet
Jasons great aunt isnt going to be around much longer either
My dad had a prostate cancer scare
my moms lupus is in a horendous flare
Reese has a heart murmur...going for EKG tomm
Raeleigh's birthmark is sending us back to pediatric dematologist yet again in her 2 short months
Reese has to go to pediatric optomologist for her eye pulling, poking and swelling
Jason's cholesterol is off the charts...
...and i am just fat...
just feeling defeated (very poor) and defeated right now

Love it...Hate it...


stretch of barren land and sparse scrub at the corner of New Road and Old Robinson Road may one day be home to a new, state-of-the-art University High School.';

New University High campus locale should alleviate traffic, security concerns

Thursday, August 21, 2008
By Wendy Gragg
Tribune-Herald staff writer
A stretch of barren land and sparse scrub at the corner of New Road and Old Robinson Road may one day be home to a new, state-of-the-art University High School.
The Waco Independent School District board of trustees will vote tonight on whether to buy the property for $3.35 million from Central Texas Investors Ltd. as the site on which to build the school’s new campus.
“It’s a nice place to show off a $70 million facility,” University High principal Nolan Correa said of the 80-acre tract, which is on the east side of Interstate 35, within view of State Highway 6 and interstate traffic.
Correa ex…

For Raeleigh and her 'stain'

My birthmark tis a vine, a creeping cover growing outward from the inside Red and purple blooms do adorn the stained trunk and stem with which I was born Imprinted on the earth, which is my skin A tattoo drawn by Mother Nature's own hand Unknown is its beginning, unknown its end Blood thirsty capillaries Rooted deeply and roaming free Savage they can be Encroaching onto otherwise lovely faces And devour them they do, in most cases Yet, brilliant in design, vibrant in color Sprinkled with patches of strawberry wonder Threatened but not stopped by cold, heat, and removal Rarely meeting with strangers approval Yet, this tattoo of mine is sweet yet sour, like fine wine This beauty with a curse to give Not by force but by will Shall remain for as long as I live A part of me, I refuse to kill. -author unknown

Doctor etc...

Went to doc today for well baby and check up for both girls. Raeleigh got her shots and doc agreed with me that the birthmark looks to be growing. I have to call pediatric dermatolgist back and get her back in...probably have to get it removed now.
Reese has a heart murmur. This is the 2nd time Doc wilcox heard it. According to wikipedia Murmurs are abnormal heart sounds that are produced as a result of turbulent blood flow which is sufficient to produce audible noise. This most commonly results from narrowing or leaking of valves or the presence of abnormal passages through which blood flows in or near the heart. Murmurs are not usually part of the normal cardiac physiology and thus warrant further investigations. However, they sometimes result from harmless flow characteristics of no clinical significance.
Murmurs can be classified by seven different characteristics: timing, shape, location, radiation, intensity, pitch and quality. Timing refers to whether the murmur is a systolic …

Right after I wrote about Lohan I found THIS on CNN

There is some hope...
WASHINGTON (AP) -- A shocking trend is gaining ground in teen dressing: modesty.

Here's an example: Last summer, my 13-year-old daughter needed a dress to attend a friend's bat mitzvah.
What we found was a black concoction with a neckline so low that my condition for buying it was a fill-in-the-gap black undergarment. She wasn't happy about it, but complied.
This June, for her eighth-grade graduation, my daughter debated between a slinky blue dress with a plunging neckline -- more lounge singer than middle schooler -- and a flowery cotton print that was strapless but not low-cut.
After much consultation with her friends, she opted for the strapless and decided to top it with a sedate, white cardigan sweater.
What had happened to teen dressing in those intervening 10 months?
Layering. The economic downturn. Traction from an entrenched parents' backlash against highly sexualized looks for their daughters. Oh, and fashion's do-or-die need to throw somet…


Jason and I went to Church last night after a really nice weekend outside. IT wasnt quite so hot so we got to just hang out, let Reese swim and I got to garden.

Last night was the first night of the The Grove having 2 seperate life groups. It was different, good, chaotic (no babysitter) but good.

We got home and got the babes settled and the greatest thing happened. Jason and I laid in bed for like 3 hours and just talked. I couldnt even tell you what about but it was wonderful. I love having a spouse that is such a good friend.

Pray for Raeleigh, she has a temp tonight. :(

AND Reese, she needs to get a handle on this whole potty thing!

Really Disturbing

Ok so i clicked on a link about how Lindsey Lohan got angry at a photographer for asking her about her little sister. He asked if her sister got a boob job. Lindsey's sister is 14 and her response was just that and she called the photographer a pedophile for even thinking that. This is where I have a problem. She is 14 and this is the picture in question...
hmmmm...i think there a bigger issues here. SHE IS 14 PEOPLE! Would YOU let your 14 year old dress like that!?!?!? This really disturbs me. We talk about sexual predators but our media and hollywood keep capitalizing on and oversexualizing our children. A grown man would look at this picture and lust after this young girl...and don't you think that is what is wanted. grrrrrrr! This makes me so angry! Young girls look up to these 'celebraties' as role models and the only things they are being taught are that their value is in their sexuality...SEXUALITY! 14 year olds shouldnt even be thinking in those terms! Grrr! …

A Day in the Life of a Zombie

7:45 rolls around and Reese is knocking on her bedroom door screaming "mommy where are you"--I try to buy some more time with bribery. "Reese, will you go back night night if i give you some snacks?"
Not so lucky today she cries and says "no mommy, all done". I sigh and say ok then. We get up put on big girl panties (for Reese that is) and then i hear Raeleigh crying (a sound I heard most of the night). I tell Reese, let me feed Raeleigh and then we will get movie and breakfast. Reese is very set into her morning routine and any interruption, no matter how hungry or loud, frustrates her. But I give her snacks and buy some time to feed Raeleigh.
Then Reese makes her order, "pizza momma, pizza". Ok then, pizza for breakfast it is. I pop in a baby einstein movie with an animal theme and off to pop the 99cent pizza in the oven. I hop on computer and check email, news etc while it cooks and Reese watches baby einstein. Then the totally expected happens…

Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmmmmm...

So I am baffled. Intrigued and baffled. I think it is conceited of us to think we have found and categorized all living species but c'mon....what is THIS other than disgusting? Viral marketing or for real? I am almost too scared to even ask....
But embarrassingly enough i keep 'googleing' the darn thing to find out more... am I pathetic or is the marketing just working....hmmmmmm...

...and then i came across this --I watched the video and it is definately...different...
Chupacabra Caught On Cop's Dash Cam
The deputy describes the creature as hairless with a long snout, having short front legs and long back legs. But it's still a mystery.
Tara Lipinsky, Texas (CBS) ―
Is it or isn't it?
There's massive speculation in Cuero, Texas that a paltrolman's dash cam video will prove the Chupacabra really exists.
Corporal Brandon Riedel spotted the creature just before sunset on Friday, and decided to put his dash cam to good use. "So I hit the record butt…

Boobie What?

hahahahaha...So here is the jist of it.

The first time my husband went 'home' with me to meet my parents I let our family dog at the time (dipity) out to go potty and I told her "Go Boobie"--the name stuck.

Both Jason and Reese refer to me lovingly as Boobie. I never thought my husband and daughter would call me dog excrement. (Dipity and Jason at our old apartment in Bosqueville in photo to the left; also in photo, my dad and sister Megan)