Boobie Babble

I have fear. I fear lots of things. But mostly I fear for my safety and the safety of my family. These are deep rooted fears. But tonight as I did my Beth Moore Study I got to thinking about this fear I have. I want to walk every day. I have been paralysed with fear because that means taking 2 kids and myself out without Jason. That makes me feel soooo vulnerable. I know that God does not give me the spirit of fear!!! I am going to make myself do it. I realize that the fear I will pass along to my girls by fearing to do these things it far more dangerous than just going for a walk... So here goes...tomorrow is a new day.

I am so frustrated with being sick. I am so tired of being tired. I am just realy for SOMETHING to be easy... I dont even care what...just something socially, spiritually, financially, health, attitude, energy, even breastfeeding... Something has got to give soon or this 'tree' is gonna snap in two.

DISCLAIMER: This is raw truth! WOW! I had no idea that my inability to be a team player stemmed from a deep rooted prideful sin. I NEVER played a team sport. I mean,NEVER! I was on the cheerleading squad but as the mascot. I was inable to do something that required me to rely on anyone else. I do not trust. I always feel that if I want smething done right I just have to do it myself. I get angry when told what to do. I dont like someone else's idea to be chosen over my own... I am currently participating in a Beth Moore Study entitled Breaking Free and learning how to not be a captive anymore. I am a captive of my own pridefulness and didnt even realize that I was being prideful at all. I never thought pride to be one of my big weaknesses--but man was I wrong. In leadership roles I feel in control and 'know' my vision is being accomplished. I love being the leader. I have always had a very hard time being an indian to any other chief. The deal was, either I was...

I remember growing up how chores were so terribly dreaded, but what was great about childhood was that there was someone there to MAKE you do them even if you didnt want to. I find as an adult that even thought I know something is the Lords will for me and for my best or for the goodness of my friends or family, I still have a problem with chores. It amazes me how even things I love to do can somehow be manipulated by be it spiritual warfare or depression or pure laziness and in the end become chores. In June of 2005 I weighed 145. That is a great weight for me and honestly, I like to have a bit of meat on my bones and feel sexy up to about 185. Two pregnancies later and I find myself hovering at a life time high of 250. WHAT! That cant be right...but sadly it is. I WANT change. I am NOT happy. But yet that desire to be healthier and better gets distorted into a chore and I find myself munching on junk food and 'forgetting' to work out. I even make excuses to myself, ...

yeah i know i never proofread, so shoot me see the post below

What happens in Formation group, STAYS in formation group... Lose the pucker? Sonic...that is just a choice you make bellmead taco bell a little like vegas but alot more fun and the list continues... ________________________________________________________ Reese did # 2 in the potty today. I dont think I have ever been so excited to see poop IN MY LIFE! ________________________________________________________ My dog has allergies soooo badly that he wont step off the concete patio outside, man that stinks! ________________________________________________________ How hilarious would it be fore there to be male chipmunks instead of chip n dales....i would much rater see a bunch of adult men dance around in full out chipmunk suits...totally hilarious... WAIT I bet there are, i mean come on they have ice capades for everything these days, surely there is an Alvin, Simon, and Theodore out there SOMEWHERE...hmmmmm I would totally prefer a bachelorette party THERE. And PLEASE, NO STRIPPING......

We are such a wealthy nation. I had never seen this pulitzer prize winning phot obefore today and it will haunt me henceforth...